You don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.
… the overwhelming majority disliked [“childless” and “childfree”], with one being seen as stigmatising and the other gleeful and nasty in its implication that parents somehow need “liberating”.
… that’s one reason why – when absolutely necessarily – “doesn’t have children” is the kindest, most neutral descriptor we can hope for. Though we can also hope to be moving away from one’s parenting status needing to be defined at all, especially for women, who still face this question far more frequently than men. Language matters, and as ever it often says more about us and our assumptions than we realise.
read more here.
I’m having a hard time today, and I’m feeling very defeated. I feel strangely similar to how I did 8 years ago, after my son was born, and I had to …He isn’t mine, but I am still his
x past mistakes that follow you everywhere
x IV needle stuck on his arm, he’s breathing too slow
x impending goals you can do nothing about
x burnt lasagna in the oven when you’re taking calls for too long
x paper cuts from paperworks you don’t want to sign
x terrible exes arguing with the good ex (about you) in a formal meeting.
….“You may not know what you’re going to get from them, or it may be, because you care about that person, that when things are negative it hurts that much more.”
These are the people whom Bridget Jones likened to jellyfish, whose stinging remarks you don’t see coming but stay with you for days after.
my own tongue,
so fat and full.
from the vine.
my tongue is
time drunk and burdensome.
every word tastes like uncertainty.
like tar black midnight
in the quiet afternoon.
truthfully, i just want to say
i love you and
have that be enough.
If you were alone when you were born, alone when you were dying, really absolutely alone when you were dead, why ‘learn to be alone’ in between? If you had forgotten, it would quickly come back to you. Aloneness was like riding a bike. At a gunpoint. With the gun in your own hand. Aloneness was the air in your tyre, the wind in your hair. You didn’t have to go looking for it with open arms. With open arms, you fell off the bike…