1997
i was fifteen and my hair was big as cotton candy coming warm out of a spinner, my first
boyfriend played the violin, he was
a baby cute baby, we wrote each other letters with tiny
hearts and songs, i ripped them to shreds. see, i had a thing for the boy with the guitar, it’s complicated
he sang a letter to elise at graduation, i found
his girlfriend’s diary in my locker somehow —he winked
at me from the stage.
(you were eighteen, running and kicking, athletic not yet poetic—-falling in love, breaking apart… the thing goes long for life, i would hear about it one night, late into the evening. my hair not so big then.)
maia diaries 
This poem reminds me of when I was a 16 year old girl. Clearly I remember falling in love for the first time when a friend I had a major crush on confessed to me that she liked girls too.
We spent our summers together at the summer camp where we worked. My heart fluttered like a flock of butterflies each time I thought of her, and my mind was filled with an unquenchable desire to be near her. Her very presence filled me with a sense of comfort and familiarity, as if we had known each other for a lifetime.
Every moment spent with her felt like a precious gift, and I found myself cherishing each one with a sense of reverence and awe. The world around us faded away as we lost ourselves in each other’s company, and time seemed to stand still.
Sadly, the summer came to an abrupt end, and although I promised her that we would keep in touch and in two years we would be 18 and we could be together. She was stunning and beautiful, but she was also immature, and eventually we drifted apart. She married, had children, and ended up getting back in touch with me decades later. She confessed that she was still in love with me, despite the years we were apart.
No matter who one falls in love with, or how long one lives, one never forgets their first love.
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thank you for sharing, love!
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You’re welcome, Maia! 🙂
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