I used to ride along the waves of uncertainty that was my mind, playing out scenarios where I would end up in places close enough to reality that it might actually happen. I could ride and ride for hours without any clear intention or purpose, no directions. A wishful thinking that’s so loud that it magnified every single thing I yearned for so the universe could make it come true.

See, I’m just a child inside, wishing all the good things come tumbling down on my lap and wanting all the bad things to go away. This thing I do keep me busy grinding on thoughts back and forth, back and forth. I would forget about them and fall asleep eventually. I would be dreaming or waking up, either way, I escaped being me for a little while.

And now it’s swirling around you. Just the second I was boarding a flight, I thought of you mindlessly. In my mind’s eye I saw you smile an infectious smile, laugh that infectious laugh. If only people say the things they want to say, and do things they want to do, maybe we won’t be here tangled in pride.

Who was too proud again?

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