in the shower i become
knowledgable
of all the wounds i didn’t know i had

scratches from god knows where
i’ve been, a cut
on my calf that wouldn’t heal

purple bruises from last year retreat,
“cooking accident”, did that
fool you, there’s just too many

i can’t explain

some mistakes are permanent
others continue carrying the weight
i know, sorry i broke you, this has been

weighing me too,

do they still hurt because now
i do not feel safe loving
anyone like this ever again